Saturday, June 12, 2010

Dating Clues

"I find dating exhausting and uninteresting, and I really would like to skip over the hours of conversation that you need just to get up to speed on each others lives, and the stories I've told a million times....If you're on a date with me you can be certain that this is what I'm going to be evaluating you for--how good is it going to be, cuddling with you in bed and watching Damages?
Here's what I would like to do: I would like to get into bed with a DVD of Damages and have a line of men cue up at my door....one at a time, in intervals of ten minutes, during which I would watch Damages. I would have a clinician take basic readings...and illustrate which candidate was the most soothing presence for me...soon after, we would make love to mentally diseased animals on a meth Binge."


--Sarah Silverman, The Bedwetter.

And for any men who want to take my version of this test, here are the top ten greatest TV show episodes (in my opinion) of 2009-2010.

10. Weeds, Season 5, Finale

9. Nurse Jackie, Season 2, Finale

8. 30 Rock, Season 5, Dealbreaker

7. Parks and Recreation, Season 2, The Beauty Pageant

6. Design Star, Season 4, The Longest Yard

5. United States of Tara, Season 2, Finale

4. Damages, Season 3, Finale

3. Dexter, Season 4, Finale

2. Glee, Season 1, Home

1. Modern Family, Season 1, The Incident

Tomorrow, True Blood season 2 and Design Star season 5 start. Tuesday, It's Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List season 6 on Bravo. On August 16th is Weeds season 6 and The C Word. My couch and a technician are standing by.

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