Newnessness

I am in a state of panic today.

It is a real sense of loss that is entering my life these days. My best friend is pregnant. My best gay is leaving town. Oprah is leaving daytime.

For the past two years, these three people have been my various shoulders as I moved in and out of my own transitions. They are the people (well, Oprah and I never chatted, but I wrote to her) who saw the worst of me, heard me gripe at my pettiest, listened to me scream at the injustices of betrayal and workplace tyranny, and saw me cry at the fear of being unloved. And soon, I have to say goodbye to the way I have known them and support them in their pursuit of their missions. And I'm happy for them, and proud of them, but all of a sudden I feel very, very alone.

Did you know that a worm is the only animal that you can cut in half that continues to grow? I read that yesterday in The Book of Awakenings (an Oprah Favorite Thing, duh) and I wanted to feel hopeful, but I don't. I feel cut in half left to bake on the sidewalk, because I don't know how to navigate life without an emergency call during the crises that arise to say, "I don't know how to quit this job" or "why won't he call me back?" or "am I liable?" or "She's gone missing and her phone is off and she left my dad, and frankly, I don't care. Is that wrong?"

In under two months, I will be living alone. I will be an Uncle. I will be thin, as I am now. I will have a new car still. I will be living in a clean house with new shoes. I will have perspective on things I used to not understand. My doggies will be happy and healthy. But still, I will be alone. For the first time ever, I will be alone in a house that I've shared continuously with various friends, partners, and roommates for five years.

There will no longer be a person who I can rely on to tell me it's all going to be ok. That I am good enough as is. And this is painful and makes me very nervous. Because for the first time, I'll have to tell myself this, and be convincing and trusting enough to allow it to breathe.

RIP, Macho Man

Saddest day ever. One of my heroes has died. Thank you for the elbow drops, Randy Savage. You will be missed.
"OHHHHH YEAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Coverage:

TMZ wreckage video

Time Magazine
Fox Sports
e! Online

Tribute from Lanny Poffo, brother of Randy Savage
Randy Savage Wikipedia

WWE SUPERSTAR TWITTERS:

John Cena: “CeNation. The untimely passing of Randy Savage is indeed tragic. All true fans of wrestling will mourn this loss. One of the all time greats.”
Christian:“Sad 2 hear about "Macho Man" Randy Savage. Only met him once briefly. No doubt 1 of the best & influenced so many performers you see today RIP”
WWE Hall of Famer Shawn Michaels: “@IAmJericho jus txt me the news. We've lost one of the greats!! Our prayers go out to the family & friends of Randy Savage.”
WWE Hall of Famer "Stone Cold" Steve Austin: "Just heard about Macho Man Randy Savage... Unmatched intensity in the ring. A hellacious performer and terrific promo. A real bad ass. RIP." The Rock: “Today Team Bring It will celebrate a life – we will kick ass and chase greatness #OOHHYEEEAAAHHH style!”
WWE Hall of Famer "Rowdy" Roddy Pipper: "Too SAD TO TWEET."
Chris Jericho: "Randy Savage was a true influence and inspiration to me and taught me some very important lessons, in and out of the ring. Rest in peace, Mach."
WWE Hall of Famer Howard Finkel: “I am profoundly saddened by the passing of one of the all-time greats, “Macho Man” Randy Savage. My condolences go out to the Poffo family."
WWE Hall of Famer Bret "Hitman" Hart: “I have no words to say. This one hits me hard. We lost one of the best.” This sums it up.”
WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross: Just heard Macho Man died this morning of a heart attack while driving his vehicle in Tampa. Condolences to all Randy Savage fans/family.
Rey Mysterio: “RIP Macho Man Randy Savage! Doing promotion in Seattle for Over the Limit PPV, was asked earlier today at a radio station. Who would I of loved to wrestle from back in da day? I said would of loved to hit it off in a 3ple threat, Macho Man, Ricky the Dragon, and myself! RIP RMS!”
Joey Styles: "There's no other way for me to celebrate the life & career of The Macho Man than to let him keep entertaining me.VIDEO: http://bit.ly/lZLBj8"
Wade Barrett: “Bow to the kingdom of the madness. RIP Macho Man, amazing performer.”
Justin Roberts: “Macho Man... Simply awesome. Incredible and entertaining in everything he did. One of the best ever. RIP.”
Zack Ryder: “RIP MACHO MAN. One of my favorites and one of the best of all time. DIG IT!”
Curt Hawkins: “I carry this picture in my gear bag ... 7-year-old Hawkins & my 1st tag team partner. RIP Macho Man.”
Goldust: “Prayers go out to Randy Savage’s family … God be with them in this tough time.”
William Regal: “Just heard of the passing of Randy Savage. A one-of-a-kind great performer. RIP.”
Vickie Guerrero: “RIP Randy Macho Man Savage. My prayers are to your family.”
Ezekiel Jackson: “Whoa... Just heard about macho man Randy Savage... God bless the family, the wrestling world just lost one of the greatest ever... R.I.P”
Natalya: “My prayers are with Randy Savage and his family right now.”
JTG: “To one of my favorite Hall of Famers, inducted or not. Macho Man Randy Savage. R.I.P OOOOOOOOOH YEEEEEEEAH !”
Beth Phoenix: "No words for this very sad day. Condolences to Randy Savage's family, friends and millions of fans." #MachoMan
Darren Young: “JUST like that! Life can end. Tell those close to ya that you love them cause ya never know! RIP Macho Man.”
Ricardo Rodriguez: “Thoughts go to Randy Savage's family. Definitely an amazing talent and a great inspiration to many. Can never forget Savage vs Steamboat.”
Yoshi Tatsu: “The Macho Man Randy Savage is one of my heroes when I was childhood and one of the best of all time. Rest in peace.”
Jack Korpela: “Hogan vs. Savage at WrestleMania V was the match that got me hooked on WWE as a kid. RIP “Macho Man” Randy Savage. My condolences.”
Trish Stratus: “Rest in peace. Randy – my first inspiration in the ring. My prayers & condolences to the Savage family.”
Bill DeMott: “When I got my start in WCW it was Randy that gave me the rub... My prayers and thoughts to the Poffo Family .”
Lucky Cannon: “My respect and condolence goes out to a true iconic figure the Macho Man Randy Savage and his family!”
Torrie Wilson: "Just heard the news of Macho Man Randy Savage passing... Rest in peace, Randy."
Mark Henry: "Wow family, one of my favorites is gone! Rest well (Randy Savage) you will be missed."
The Bella Twins: "Very sad to hear about Macho Man... His family is in our thoughts & prayers... Truly an amazin' & captivatin' man!"
Titus O'Neil: "My prayers go out to the family, friends & former colleagues of WWE Superstar Randy "Macho Man" Savage who passed away this morning. God Bless."
Scott Stanford: "Sorry to hear about the Macho Man! He was one of the best!"
Kharma: "In utter shock about Macho Man. So much charisma in one soul."
Lilian Garcia: "Just heard the news about "Macho Man" Randy Savage passing away. So sad. RIP Randy. My prayers go out to your friends & family."
Byron Saxton: "Randy Savage, may you Rest In Peace. Thank You for the memories an here's to an eternal Oooooh Yeahhh! God Bless."
Gail Kim: "RIP macho man. Thank u 4 all the great yrs u gave us.u were part of the reason I loved wrestling...what u did 4 all ... http://tmi.me/aqJ68"

Celebrity reactions:
TV personality Ryan Seacrest: “RIP Macho Man Randy Savage... loved watching him in the ring growing up. Oooooh yeeeah! http://bit.ly/jvssAd”
ESPN’s Michelle Beadle: “Just to remember one of the baddest: http://tinyurl.com/ywfdze. Macho Man.”
Actress Alyssa Milano: “Rest in peace, Macho Man Randy Savage.”
Singer Rob Thomas: “RIP RANDY "MACHO MAN" SAVAGE.”
TV personality Maria Menounos: “RIP Macho Man Randy Savage.”
ESPN’s Bill Simmons: “RIP, Randy Poffo aka Randy "Macho Man" Savage aka one of the greatest pro wrestlers who ever lived.”
The U.S. national soccer team’s Jozy Atlidore: “Macho Man was that dude! RIP Randy Savage. #ooooohyeeeeah”
NBA player Marcus Camby: “RIP Randy Macho Man Savage. Ooooooooooooh. Yeaaaahhhhhh.”
Jacksonville Jaguars player Kirk Morrison: “Ooooooohhhhhhhh Yeeeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhhh (Macho Man voice)”
Houston Texans NFL player Brian Cushing: “RIP Macho Man Randy Savage.”
Actor and singer Donnie Wahlberg: “#RIPMachoMan”

From My Oprah Shower Invitation

Ladies ladies ladies,
We are just 9 days away from the finale, which I have taken off for as a religious holiday. Amy is bringing the Donald trump/Mira lago turkey burger balls, Rachel is bringing Oprahs favorite pomegranate martini, I am providing the panini love sandwich that she makes Stedman. Your task is to find an Oprah recipe and bring it for her farewell show at my house. Monkey Bread anyone? Maybe a Jessica Seinfeld spinach brownie? How bout some awful Kathy Freston vegan casserole? Cmon you know you want to bring something from the Paula Dean episodes! The party starts at 7, with the episode airing after all of our vaginas have been neatly prepared with Kleenex to catch the tears, unless you want it all to fly out like butterflies like that girl in Beloved.
Wednesday, May 25.
Think I'll Run On,
Sean

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:N Sweetzer Ave,West Hollywood,United States

Links I've been meaning to post...

Why I'm smarter than Sarah Palin and Tyler Perry.

My interview with David Levithan.

Another way to lose weight.

My typical Monday thru Friday

My food/exercise plan for the last six weeks has generally looked like this Monday thru Friday afternoon. The food plan was adapted from The 17 Day Diet, which was way too strict for me but what I've modified it to really feels good.

Wake up 6AM - 6:30AM
Dog walk for 30 minutes.
90 pushups and 90 crunches

Between 7-8AM
giant glass of black iced coffee
giant glass of green/white mint iced tea (Trader Joes)
2 hard boiled eggs, 1/2 cup turkey chili or 2 tablespoons of three layer hummus in a mini whole wheat tortilla

8:30 AM
Vitamin Water zero
1 giant glass of water

10:45-11AM
8-10 red grapes or a minneola or a tangelo or a blood orange
1 giant glass of water

1PM
Turkey Pepperoni panini sandwich with JR's BBQ Sauce or Emeril's horseradish mustard and lots of mixed greens and crimini mushrooms on low sodium Ezekiel bread
1 giant glass of water

1:15/1:30PM
10 minute dog walk

3:30 PM
Double protein greek yogurt with 1/2 cup mixed frozen berries or blueberries or strawberries and 1/2 cup frozen mango chunks or pineapple chunks plus one splenda packet
1 giant glass of water

5PM
1 red delicious apple

7PM
mixed green salad with lots of lettuce, 2 servings lean chicken, and shredded cabbage with two tablespoons Newman's Own balsamic dressing.
1 giant glass of water

7:20/7:45PM
dog walk
30 minutes

8:15/8:30PM
Barrys Bootcamp or weight lifting at the gym or a 5K run for 45 minutes to an hour

9:30PM
2 scoops chocolate mint Isopure protein powder in 12 oz cold water

10:45PM
Sleep

CARBS
When I have tons of carbs in the morning, I'm finding that I stay in a very normal, good mood all day. And, according to most of my weight management sources, tapering off late in the day is a good idea, so I try to have my last grain-based carbs around 2PM at the latest. Everything else is fruit, which allows me that sweetness I crave late in the day.

BOOZE
Due to my elderly age, I don't drink as much anymore, because it makes me hurt for three days to have more than 2 drinks, and really two drinks hurts a lot for a day. So when I do drink that is reserved for Friday night only so I'm not still crabby and ghostly by Monday.

WEEKEND EATING
On Friday night I eat whatever I want. The same is true all day Saturday and Sunday I'm back on track, but allow myself Chipotle (no cheese and light rice) or Millions of Milkshakes (size small Miley or Obama with whip) or both.

WEEKEND EXERCISE
Friday night I go to Barry's Bootcamp because I love this teacher there. Saturday morning I work out together with one of my clients. And Sunday morning I run a 10-12K throughout West Hollywood before noon. I also still walk the dogs everyday for as long as I can. Usually an hour, but all at once.

I feel good with this. It's all adjustable, and if I have school night plans with a friend or work, I'm not freaking out about missing a workout. "It's just life," I say to myself, and what good is a hot body if you can't go out to dinner once in a while to show it off?

The trick to weight loss you've never heard...

When people have noticed my weight loss in the past, I've always responded with the same self-deprecating joke..."thanks for noticing the tapeworm!"

Sometimes, scratch that, all the time, I've followed a weight loss compliment with a "Well, I'm gettin' there but not quite!" And that's crazy. Why not just enjoy it? The biggest difference this time is that I have simply agreed every single time someone has noticed my shrinkage.

"Wow, Sean, you look great!" they will say to me, and I respond with, "I feel it, thank you." I don't talk about my goal for next month, I ask them if they also noticed my tight cheekbones and my lean thighs, "because that's how I noticed I am losing weight!"

By being an advocate for my own body and my own weight loss I am losing weight and keeping it off. I am beautiful however I look, but my ass is Hella juicy now, and I tell people that. It's the "Yes And" rule of improv. "Sean, you are hot!"

"Yes and I'm sleeping better and running a seven minute mile again and I would totally fuck me!"

And because I don't hate me cause I'm beautiful, and because I see that I am fly, I want to keep eating healthy and living right. And for the first time, managing my weight doesn't feel like a sumo wrestling match. But damn, I'd look good in that outfit, Honey.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad