An Excerpt from Chapter 4

I drove through the pick-up window at Adalbertos and got a burrito with chicken, steak, sour cream, beans, rice, extra cheese, and hot sauce. I parked in the parking lot and took my foil-wrapped midnight snack outside with me onto the curb. I opened the hot sauce and stuck my finger in the sauce then smeared it on my lips like it was Blistex and felt myself tear up from the inflammation. I wanted a moment of catharsis, and this was the only way I knew to cry. I’d been so numb and lied for so long to myself and my friends and I knew that as soon as I finished my burrito I’d be doing it again, probably in perpetuity. My life would forever be a lie and the only time I would ever sit with the truth would be in these private moments with good food. By the time I finished the burrito, I didn’t remember what it had tasted like. I’d remember that night in bed, as I burped the aftertaste while I couldn’t sleep.