Gaga

Wow. Do not go up against Lady Gaga. Don't even speak her name without a whisper. It's anti-woman, anti-gay, anti-New York, anti-Dairy, anti-freaks-as-art to say anything bad about our beloved Gaga.

So I posted this on my Facebook today and was immediately chastized:

Lady Gaga as spokesperson for DADT is as dumb and weird as Ellen was on Idol.

Now, here's the problem. Several years ago, I was a do-gooder. I was the first openly gay contender on American Gladiators, and then post-prop 8, I got this idea to change a really stupid boycott being planned by the gay establishment and turn it into a volunteer effort called Day Without a Gay. I didn't like the former gay idea. I thought it made us look bad and so I helped change it. My idea got press, and so a bunch of gays added my facebook thinking I was some sort of gay superhero. I am not said hero. I find the current state of gay rights leadership to be silly and disjointed, but I also recognize that the world is bigger than just the gay cause. I want my mom to have better Medicare. I want to own a home one day and be able to trust the paperwork I'm signing. I'd like to eat an Egg McMuffin one day before I croak and live to feel guilty about it.

But now these gays kinda hate me, momentarily.

But mostly, I'm funny and my point of view stems from pointing out the flaws of the masses. That no one has a problem with 24 year old, upper-middle classed, basically heterosexual, private music school educated "Lady Gaga" leading the campaign to overturn a ban on gays in the military is funny to me. I find it funny. A week ago, this not-so-far-from-tweendom princess was wearing Beef Carpaccio with a straight face while sitting on crushed velvet chairs, and now shes in Washington dressed like a hairdryer talking about an important issue facing "her community." Am I "negative" for thinking this is weird? Am I the only one who thinks she might just be slightly less effective than say...ANYONE ELSE ALIVE? I think Melissa Etheridges Labia would be a less distracting spokesperson for Don't Ask Don't Tell than this Gaga.

But wait, here's my dirty little secret: I think Gaga is kinda cool. I like her stuff, especially the Beyonce duets, obviously. Her videos are fun to watch in a way I havent had fun watching videos since Michael Jackson. But cmon, you fags, we need not "support our Gaga" in that way Republicans told us we were terrorists if we didnt agree with George Bush.

And for those who say we shouldn't criticize the gay establishment, I ask why? Why should we just trust that all of our best interests are being considered and implemented with the best ideas?

I look at previews for the new big Gay TV Show, The A-List, and I have problems. Who are these guys and how do they represent me? I'm smart and self-made, which they aren't. I don't have a perfect body and they do, so am I missing out on what I'm "supposed to be having?" Should I not criticize it because I need to support the cause of more gays on TV?

If we keep treating this movement as, "Well look at what the gay monkeys are doing, isn't that sweet?" We will lose. But we won't just lose on gaining rights. We will lose on finding our own identity, because we will be settling for whatever crap gets thrown at the wall. I feel like I'm on that show where the sister is retarded but if I make a joke I'm bad. "Johnny, quit making fun of your retarded sister. It's the only time she's ever going to be in a play (Defending us against the evil military rules)!" And that scares me.