Moviezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

This is how lazy I am. I can't stay awake during movies. An activity that requires nothing more than to sit and watch a lite-up rectangle that talks, is something that I can't remain concious for. Movie Theaters are the worst, because unless the movie is about a superhero or uses the word CUNT as a punchline, I will focus on a single piece of sky in the background and pass out which is embarrassing and is also a health hazard, because I will drool and possibly die of choking if I'm holding the popcorn.

It's worse if I'm at home on the couch. Wanna know if I'm really into you? I will be dead asleep in your lap before you see the phrase "An M. Night Shymalanananananananan film." There is something about a movie, a mans thighs, and air conditioning that makes my lucidity evaporate.

There are amazing movies I've seen and not fallen asleep in. I loved Up! and The Dark Knight and other movies the masses enjoyed...but those are dating me now. Hmm, recently I enjoyed Precious last year until I thought about it after and hated it. I liked Up In The Air and this weird movie called The Private Lives of Pippa Lee. And at the Outfest I watched a movie called Spork that I loved and a documentary called Bear Nation that was pretty sweet. I have all of these Arclight giftcards because I pre-buy them just in case something great comes out, and then I never go. Panicked that I'll give two hours away to the newest movie about a Chihuhua that looks "real funny in the preview!"

I just love TV. Thats the problem. I love the "out" with TV. I know it's 22 minutes or 44 minutes or 52 minutes. I love it. I salivate all week for new Dexter. It's my identity.

But in my effort to be honest even about my uncoolness, I want to divulge that the last major picture I saw was Leonardo DiCaprio's Shutter Island, which I kinda fell asleep in three times and then didn't understand the end but kinda did.

And in my effort to be cooler, I want to put it out there that I'm going to start training for film, watching like people do marathons, watching 10 minutes at a time and adding 3 minutes a week, bringing goo to my couch and a utility belt. I'll watch in the morning during Coffee and really try to fucking stay focused. I feel I have nothing to talk about with anyone in LA anymore and no cool date ideas because I haven't been able to remain awake in seat A32 since probably 2007.

I decided to make a list of movies I've always wanted to see but never have, and maybe I'll set a goal of watching 2 or 3 of them this year? Or maybe I'll just nap. Stay tuned.

The Shawshank Redemption
The Usual Suspects
Cabaret
Easy A
Waiting to Exhale
Oceans 11
Freddy vs. Jason
Paranormal Activity
(500) Days of Summer
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Revenge of the Sith
Blade Runner
Pirates of The Carribean