My first week!

Week One of my newest fitness scam is finished as of tonight. See, I always celebrate New Years Eve on Wrestlemania Sunday, which was last weekend. So On New Years Day, April 4, 2011 I started with my 'full steam ahead' OPERATION 2007 plan.

Exercise:
This week I went to Barry's bootcamp on Friday night as usual and found a sub, whom I hated. The normal teacher is this fellow David who is like a very deep voiced Southern twink and he is fantastic. His favorite phrase is "Let's go, Baby!" and he's very supportive and happy. We love David. His replacement was your typical overdeveloped pecs and skinny-calved dub-step himbo (homo/bimbo) who probably has an online profile claiming to be masculine looking for same, all the while planning his Halloween costume as a sexy Smurfette.

Regardless, I also ran on two Sundays in a row with my new friend, Tim who I'm faster than (which rules) for 6.5 miles each, and also midweek for 3.1 miles in preparation for the Brentwood Run and the Pride Run which I May make my long awaited return to participate in during May and June. I lifted weights on Thursday and Saturday and walked the dogs their usual 75 minute trip to nowhere almost every day. Also, I lifted to failure on my chest and back and legs but not shoulders.

Oh, I have a crush on a guy in Sacramento and I'm going there next weekend so I've been doing 70 pushups a day and 70 crunches when I wake up so tht when I see him he cant do anything but make love to me 70 times in front of the Folsom City Hall. Is that weird?

Diet:
I bought the 17 Day Diet because I am an asshole and love reading fitness books. This diet is not bullshit but...but...but...I was so cranky by day 2 I had to add more carbohydrates. I was only getting fruit and veggie carbs and at one point I called a coworker a dirty, stinking whore to her face. After I punched her. Then I realized she wasnt a coworker but a transient. I was dizzy with hunger. So I kept the breakfast they suggest (two eggs an orange and green tea) but added a scoop of protein to water (IsoPure chocolate mint) and Iced Coffee (black, like my men) and rolled the eggs in pepper and mustard seeds. For mid-day snack they recommend nonfat greek yogurt with blueberries (or another fruit) and stevia/truvia to taste. I use Splenda. Stevia is gross. for lunch i kept their plan, lettuce and chicken (I used spinach and arugula) but added a small scoop of brown rice or wheat toast with JR's BBQ sauce. For mid afternoon snack its an apple.

The hardest part of the day is from my apple to my dinner, or 4PM-7PM.

Dinner is the same as lunch, minus the toast/rice, add another scoop of protein.

And I will say, on Saturday and Sunday I went to Tender Greens and ate healthy but indulgent salads. I had a turkey burger Sunday.

So I modified by adding whole grains, and using Splenda, and cheating within reason on the weekends...

And I lost 2 pounds.

So I'm at 173 now. I feel pretty good, not deprived (except for 4-7PM). And weirdly, by eating less, I have more energy. And people are telling me I look skinnier...when I stand in front of them and say "DON'T I LOOK AMAZING?"