I just don't love sex. I like it fine, but I don't love it. It's like that show Cougartown. If it's on my TiVo for the first five minutes after Modern Family, sure, I'll watch. I'll roll my eyes mostly and remember why I only do it for four minutes.
I find the process to be tedious. If I'm on a date, and it goes well, does that mean we see where it goes and get naked? Or should I adopt female-driven, hetero-judeo-christian norms and play hard to get (and call an fbuddy after he drops me off). If I don't like the guy, is that more reason to hook up, and then never call again? "sorry, I just work a tonnnnnnnn!"
Then there's the cuddling. I'm not a huge cuddler post sex unless I'm in love. I more want to play Scrabble on the iPad in silence. ("stop moaning and eating my ass! I can't keep shuffling these letters god damn it") I also don't typically want a sleepover unless I know ill be getting a long nap the next day because I worry all night about the safety of my wallet.
Here's what I like: clothing removal, and the end. I prefer simultaneous endings so neither me or my man have to act like live phone sex operators to help the other forget his mommy issues and GET THERE.
Then I like a clean towel, which you rarely find in travel, which is why i don't tend to visit the homes of others unless they are famous out gay authors or out gay pop music icons who appreciate fine linens and dark eyeliner (no, not you George Michael! I'll host!).
And regardless of if it was good or bad, I want a kind smile, and a text that says, "thanks, that was really fun.". Because that's what sex should be: fun. Then over, for the next fun activity, which right now is going to be a brownie and sleepy time tea.
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