My Fat Period

This is a small collection of pictures that are of me right about at my heaviest, 100 pounds ago. I was around 275 here. I'll post this same collage every so often. I have to. I look at these pictures and sometimes I say, "Yeah, that's me," with a shrug as though nothing has changed, as if I never counted a single caloric deficit.

I am still a total fatso in my mind, and I have permanent stretch marks and a little bit of loose skin on my outsides and that is the absolute bane of my existence. I hate it with such a hate that it doesn't make sense, a Northern Ireland versus Southern Ireland kind of hatrid. I call it my Fat Period, and I get it every 28 days (sometimes every 28 minutes).

"How ungrateful he is," this probably makes you think. "Does he know how lucky he is to not have to buy two seats on Southwest?"

After all of my efforts, why do I still feel so fat sometimes? I wish I could erase it all from my body and my memory and reprogram myself like Wolverine. Wolverine, now that's a guy with some abs.

But then I remember the difference between Me then and Me now. If this had never happened, I would not be able to do the one thing I am most proud of, the one thing that keeps me sane, the thing some skinny people can't even do. Wanna know what that is? It's simply just being able to look a person directly in the eye and tell the truth.

That's what being fat and then being this newer person has taught me, is that the secret to weight loss and sanity is learning how to tell the truth. When I start to get my Fat Period, I insert my "tamp-on of truth," and I post something here.