Boo this Way

I find this new Lady Gaga gay anthem to be kind of shitty. There is nothing less sexy than watching gay men lipsynch it at clubs. Truly, I will avoid gay pride this year because I know it will be on a loop of "him or capital H-I-M" (worst. line. ever)

First of all, I don't understand why it's so newsworthy that a white girl from Manhattan is pro-gay. What? She plays piano and was an outcast in high school AND she supports marriage equality? It'd be different if it was like, a housewife of Atlanta who ordained herself for a man on man committment ceremony. Then, I'd be impressed.

But the whole idea of the "Born This Way" or the "It's not a choice" argument is so annoying. I'm an American, God Fucking Damn it. Whether I choose to be gay or not doesn't matter. I'll fuck or engage whatever adult I want, and saying "Why would I choose this life?" repulses me. And when you say "I was born this way" It sounds like you're saying "please don't kick me, I have Cerebral Policy" and I don't think gayness is a handicap. If it is, then I choose Cerebral Palsy.

Being gay is way cool. There are no kids, no earning sex, more vacation time, and a sense of truth you can't get from sizze 38 jeans. Thank you, thank you very much.

Also, the video is dumb. It's Lady Gaga in her underpants dancing for no apparent reason, with weird looking hair and her dumb nose, and no real symbol of LGBT rights other than the gay back up dancers that are IN EVERY VIDEO from Janet Jackson to Michael Buble.

I talked about this last night at my show in Silverlake and the audience became completely uncomfortable and totally silent. Still, I appreciate that they "forgave" me and allowed me to move on to Maya Angelou, (another broad I can't stand) and cause what we in the biz call a KILL (getting really big laughs). I'm shocked though that Gaga has become the "too soon" topic though, and that she's revered as this God-like figure, for doing very little, really for our people.

Grindr and Adam 4 Adam profiles say "BrNTHUSWEY" and other ridiculous things. I mean, gay people are really smitten by her, and maybe it's because she's a mess like our mothers, or has admitted to cocaine use--or maybe it's because she kind of looks like the cool babysitter we had as kids who would let us eat the cookie dough and dance to Tiffany songs. Or maybe her music is good, but I still haven't heard something that was anything more than ok-to-listen-to and pass the time while Howard Stern is on a commercial break.

I don't need nor do I want this woman speaking for me. I hate that when I come out to someone they immediately ask me what row I sat in at her concert, as if she's the new Brokeback Mountain premiere. She's not.